a note from the pastor's wife
O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. (Psalm 139:1)
Being known can be both an attractive thing and a terrifying thing. Have you ever thought to yourself, "Boy, if these people really knew me just as I am, they wouldn't like what they see"? We struggle to reveal ourselves to others because we know who we are deep inside. The funny thing is, with God we don't have a choice. Psalms 139 goes on to state "You know when I sit and when I rise, You know my thoughts from far away, You know when I'm coming or going, You know what I'm going to say, even before I say it...where can I go from Your Spirit?" The answer is: nowhere. God is in hot pursuit of us, and He won't ever stop. Even when we've "blown it".
Years ago, I came face to face with this loving pursuit. Having grown up in an environment where I felt I had to always do the right thing to gain favor, be a good girl, make straight A's, never question authority, I experienced a season of "sowing my wild oats" after leaving home. When confronted by it from those close to me, and seeing the blackness of my soul and the emptiness of life apart from God, I repented. I was fully expecting a serious tongue-lashing from my heavenly Father, knowing how much I deserved a "How could you?" kind of speech. Instead, I found myself bathed in a blanket of love and forgiveness so tangible, so life-changing, I will never forget His kindness and patience towards me. My prayer is that I will forever be in His loving arms, for all of my days. I never want to let go of that amazing closeness with my God, my Friend, the Lover of my soul.
My prayer for you is, whether you are close to God or far away, His thoughts are towards you. He is running to you, with arms open wide, ready to take you as you are, ready to lavish His love on you. Today He is thinking of you: read Psalms 139 this week and see for yourself. "How precious it is, Lord, to realize that You are thinking about me constantly! I can't even count how many times a day Your thoughts turn towards me." (Ps. 139:17 TLB)
May you know the One who knows you best. Blessings to you, Kitty
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