July 14, 2012
Hiya. Is it as beautiful where you are as it is here? We’re having a perfect summer day. Low humidity. Crystal skies. White puffy clouds. Blue skies. Light breeze. Gee – I feel like I’m writing a travelogue but really, after the week of rain we’ve had, today is a gift.
What a week I have had! A swirl of curiosities. A collection of deeply humorous or touchingly moving experiences for me. It has been rather breathtaking and, at the same time, life-giving.
First of all, the previous week was my first week of these new chemotherapy treatments and I found myself in a pretty low place at the end of that week. And even though I am surrounded by support and opportunity, I could not drag myself up and out into the light. But a casual invitation to a movie and dinner was the corner turner for me, getting me outside, into a theatre filled with regular people who were not visibly doing anything other than enjoying a movie. Then dinner was good and diverting, as my friends had suggested it would be. And finally I was able to talk very frankly with them about what I was feeling and things changed after that.
I had dinner out with other friends three times last week and that was a fine thing too. On the night I dined alone (out!) I had a wild experience, a chance encounter with someone who challenged me to my core. I was wearing my Livestrong sweatshirt and this woman, who I did not know but who was dining with friends of mine, made a snide comment about Lance Armstrong, stating that he was “going down!” due to his (alleged) doping.
WELL!
I leapt to his defense and found myself instantly boiling in anger at her audacity - questioning my hero. She was, I’m sure, quite caught off guard because I launched into a soliloquy about how he is my hero and that NOTHING anyone can say will EVER make me change my mind and PLUS those are allegations and PLUS he’s never tested positive for doping AND Livestrong is, right now, helping me so much by providing emotional support for me AND due to my personal fundraising on his behalf I get to go ride my bike with him!!!! I very nearly slugged this poor woman (which is so very much NOT my style in these sorts of things…) I also pretty much told her to keep her mouth shut (yes I did) and told her to watch what she was saying. I gave quite the performance, my friends.
I finally got myself to stop, managed to get home and into my garden for a few hours in an ultimately successful attempt at calming myself down. Sheesh!
In talking with my friend the next day, when I had finally recovered from my outburst, we had a good laugh about her friend stumbling into Masterton-the-maniac who emerged at that moment. At least, I said to myself, I do have a very strong opinion about this subject! Don’t MESS with my hero!
(The next day I was interviewed on our local tv station about getting to ride with Lance. Ha!)
And then yesterday, as you see, I got to sit next to my hero Gabby Giffords. We held hands. We listened to music together. We sang together (along with others.) And when it was time to leave we hugged. For a long time. Her mother, who had been told about me before I arrived, was also amazing, assuring me that one should never look back but must always keep moving ahead. She wore an Endeavor t-shirt which, I realized (duh!) was about her son-in-law, the astronaut, not merely a souvenir of the shuttle. Not often you get to be one degree of separation away from THAT kind of hero either. And after comparing our necklaces and our collected charms and amulets, she took off her Milagro from the Camino de Compostela, the pilgrimage route across the top of Spain, and gave it to me.
What does one say?
Next week I step back into treatment, moving closer to having a cancer-free body. Today I feel excited that I get to be on this particular Camino. That I get to meet my heroes. That I get to live this life. That I get to be here today, living and learning these lessons, celebrating these moments.
Thank you for listening. I’ll be in touch next week.
