September 15, 2012
Hmm. It has been an interesting week. The kickoff was a call from the bike shop telling me my new bike had arrived. What a sweet treat. Top fundraiser. Big prize. I got to be excited when I heard that I might win, and that I did win, that my new bike was on its way and that it was here. It is in my car, being carried around with me as a reminder about what is to come. What is here right now is a bit of a challenge, but this is a fine reminder that it will not last forever.
The second biggest thing for me this week is that my hair is leaving my head. I had been told it would get thin, and it did just that during my last round of chemotherapy. This regimen is different and I had thought, hoped, that I would get away without anything more dramatic than last time. But a couple of weeks ago hair began falling out and in a very short time I was looking very shaggy and sparse. I got my hair cut very short this past week but I think I’m going to have to do an even shorter buzz.
It’s funny how much I am attached to my hair. I’ve seen plenty of my friends lose their hair and I can say, “It’s just hair. It will grow back,” like the best of them. But it is very different now that it is happening to me. With hair it is easy to travel under the cancer radar. But with no hair it is very apparent that I am in treatment. And as public a life as I lead, and as forthcoming as I am about all sorts of things, this is a difficult thing to be comfortable with.
A friend of mine, in my Livestrong at the YMCA class, talked about losing her hair and that it is just a very hard thing. Women are supposed to have hair. So much of our identity is based around our hair – whether we like it or not. I don’t think of myself as someone who is terribly caught up in my appearance (well, I do have a style, I know…) but this turn of events is difficult for me.
Not much more to say about that. I will not get a wig. I will be wearing hats more. And my hair will grow back eventually.
In other news – um…photos for my book are continuing. We have full day shoots every other week for awhile now. Tomorrow is the first food specific shoot. It’ll be fun. I hear that the creative director at the publishing company is very happy with the first round of snaps. I am too. What a delight to have this project to occupy my thoughts during this “interesting” time of my life.
And next week I am going to New York City for a sister/niece theatre weekend. That’ll be a nice break and I’m looking forward to having the time with my family.
I’ll be in touch next week. In the meantime – take care.
Ciao,
Laurey